Whisper
by anatagasuki
Summary: But if you keep real close, I will reach you. A NON RuHana fic in Sakuragi’s eyes. Companion fic to Ladder.


Title: Whisper  
Author: anatagasuki  
Genre: Drama/Romance  
Summary: But if you keep real close, I will reach you. A non RuHana fic in Sakuragi's eyes. Companion fic to Ladder.  
Notes: Inspired by Whisper by A Fine Frenzy. Song reference. Companion fic to Ladder. Sakuragi's PoV.

_Eager to please,  
_

_  
Trying to be what they need  
_

_  
But I'm so very tired._

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Screw Kaede Rukawa. Screw Kaede Rukawa.

How could the bastard do that? I mean, I know he's made of pure shit. Since day one I already knew he was a goddamn foxy boy who absolutely stood no chance against either my looks or basketball abilities. Girls flock to him for no reason at all.

Why did Haruko-chan come to him? _I'm_ here. The tensai, her loyal and gorgeous other half is here.

I have contemplated on all my reasons for liking Haruko-chan.

First, she is very kind. Second, she was very sweet. And, of course her soft brown hair, smooth, fair skin, and her naïve blush were nice additional touches too. My Haruko-chan.

She's totally my type. For the past three years, I saw no other girl but her.

I heard a sudden sound and my head snapped up. What was it? The security guard? A late night student? Another enemy gang? There were a lot of them lately, not that I would mind kicking a few butts this much crap of a night.

I strained to see through the cool fog of the December night.

It was none of the above.

It was a girl.

A girl who stood a lot shorter than I did. She had Haruko's hair, but I knew it wasn't her. I've looked at Haruko's figure all this three years, I was sure.

As she drew in closer, she looked more and more unlike my Haruko-chan. I think she has the same shade of hair and eyes, but she was bigger. Shorter but bigger than Haruko-chan. She didn't look much Japanese.

Suddenly, I got the shivers. What if she was not a girl? What is she…I mean, what would a teenage girl do alone in this abandoned playground, dead in the night? Uh, oh. I don't like ghosts. Kami, let it be a freaky goth gang, but not a ghost. Kami…

But when she sat down at a swing next to mine, she looked every bit human.

"I'm tired."

I looked up to the girl. "Uh, what?"

She laughed. Laughed like I just told a stupid joke. But she sounded like the stupid one.

She's drunk.

"Do you love anyone? You're pretty young to me, but you must know what I'm talking about." She looked at him from head to toe.

"I…" I know I'm blushing. Why? Why in front of this someone I didn't even know? "I l-like a girl…her name is Haruko-chan."

"Hmm." She started rocking her swing a little. "Why do you like her?"

"W-well…" I stammered. Kami, I sure sounded pathetic.

But then I thought, who cares? She's just a dumb alcohol-driven girl who would surely forget about all this ruckus tomorrow. I don't know her. She doesn't know me.

How much damage can talking to her really cause?

"She…she's really pretty." I looked at the ground. "Really. And she's so gentle and kind and caring. She cares about everyone. And I like her. I really, really do. Who could not love her?"

I paused. Who could not?

Only a bastard. A stupid bastard named Kaede Rukawa. Who could blame me for punching the hell out of him?

I'm mad at him. I mean I always am, but now I'm so angry I could pick his brain out from his nose using a hanger.

But beating him up didn't kill my anger, goddamnit. I tried to figure out why for hours. Then I came into a conclusion.

Because he didn't fight back.

He didn't punch me or kick me or even call me an idiot. He stood there, unaffected and deaf.

He didn't have to hurt Haruko-chan.

I was so lost at it that I almost forgot the girl beside me. Said girl coughing her lungs out at the moment.

"Hey, you fine?" I awkwardly patted her back. "Here."

I shrugged off my jacket and handed it to her.

"Thanks." She said with one big, lazy grin. "So why did she dump you?"

How did she know that Haruko-chan didn't like me back? I never mentioned that.

"No, I'm not psychic, dude." She chuckled. "It's just all over your face. You're kind of good too, you know. So maybe this Haruko girl doesn't like you. But you're better than most."

I didn't know what to say to that. But she was the first girl who ever complimented me that way.

"So I'm going to ask you." I can see from the corner of my eye that she was looking at me again. But I just kept looking at the ground.

"Would it be possible for you to like me?"

My head snapped.

"Oops, that came out the wrong way." Again, a smashed laugh. "I don't really mean you, don't be so startled, man."

"I meant…" She looked far away into the dark night. "I meant if I was with someone, could I assume that he feels the same way about me? I don't want this to sound pathetic, but I just…you know, wondering if anyone out there cared. Or could care."

When I first saw her, I thought she was just a girl on high who I didn't know and didn't know me. Yet suddenly, I was at the same level with this girl. Right then, we were at the same ground.

I don't want this to sound pathetic, but did anyone out there cared about me? Well, my gang wasn't very much vocal about that, and I've tried. Fifty girls. Haruko-chan.

Did anyone care? Could anyone do?

"I don't know." I said. "But you seem plenty okay with me. I'm not okay. I'm a gangster, you know. Pretty lame, huh?"

"Really?" she looked down. "Really. Because you're nice, red head. If it was me? If it was this face? Believe me, the inside stuff isn't really that much loveable. I'm not gentle or girly like your Haruko. But I'm not really very brave either. But I'm just tired."

"I'm just tired. Pleasing everybody, trying to be enough. I can't ever be. Is it wrong to just…try not to see how inadequate I am? How the gap between me and…him is just so, so…"

Her voice faded into silence.

Maybe she was right. _I'm_ trying to be enough, and I never was and I don't think I ever will be.

We sat there, two figures rocking slowly back and forth under the dimmed street lamp, the creaky sound of the old and rusty swings at the background.

Maybe she was right.

But who cares?

Yes, who cares? Maybe some are all alone in this world; maybe some have everything they want. But would giving up really help?

Does it really change a thing?

"So don't back away from it." I stood up. "Don't run away like a coward. Tomorrow, I will face Haruko just like I did everyday before. And I will try."

She was looking up at me. I didn't know what she was seeing, but a slow smile made its way to her face.

Then she stood up.

I couldn't have seen what was coming. Next thing I knew, she was on her toes. Then she kissed my cheek.

I was pretty sure I was as red as a friggin' tomato. I couldn't move for a few seconds.

"You're even better than he said you are." She tipped back and grinned at me. "Thank you, Hanamichi Sakuragi."

She turned her back and started walking away.

"H-hey!" I called out. "You! Where in hell are you going?"

"Home." She continued walking, only backwards as she faced me. "And I'll hope he can keep really, really close. Maybe I'd reach him then. I won't stop trying."

She disappeared into the night.

Huh. Okay. Huh.

Wait a minute. How did she know my name? I don't remember ever knowing her.

But she knows me.

Who cares? Tomorrow, I'd see Haruko. And I will try.


End file.
